Lounge Lizard
by Lanie L Sullivan
Summary: Francine has an appointment to keep and in her desire to make sure she makes it, she inadvertently causes chaos within the agency on Halloween. Response to a challenge from the FB SMK fanfiction group.


Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

Author's Note: This is a filler for the Tug of War series, based on another filler by my fabulous writing partner for that series, Kim Williamson. If you haven't read her story, The Princess and the Iguana, I highly recommend it. Many thanks to my beta squad of Taya, Janet and Sheila. A special thank to my "Tug of War" partner-in-crime, Kim for the creation of Jonathan II.

Response to the challenge by the admin of the Facebook fanfiction group as follows:

1\. Must be a short story, not a novel  
2\. Must have a holiday theme: Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas.  
3\. It must have these 3 items: A box of chocolates, a tux and a bottle of expensive perfume.  
4\. Someone says "I'm not a valet, I'm a spy." Or "Honey we don't use the word "spy." Or both.

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 **Halloween 1987**

Looking back on it, Francine should have known it was a big mistake to try to mix any part of her personal life with her professional one, but it couldn't be helped. Jonathan II had an appointment with the vet that she didn't want him to miss, especially after she had searched endlessly to even find a vet that would treat an iguana. She blamed herself for scheduling his appointment on Halloween in the first place. It was doomed to be...well, doomed from the start.

The day had begun innocuously enough. Yes, she'd gotten a strange look from Mrs. Marston when she'd walked in that morning and reached for her badge with one hand while her other held tightly to her pet's leash. She'd had no end of teasing on that one from Amanda, that she'd trained Jonathan II to walk on a leash, but just like everything else in her life, she wanted even her pet under her control where she could keep an eye on him. Or so, she'd thought.

Francine had shrugged off the matron's arched eyebrow with a wave of her hand and simply said, "He has a vet appointment this afternoon," took her badge and hurried toward the closet elevator.

"Oh, Miss Desmond," Mrs. Marston's voice sounded behind her.

 _Crap_ , she moaned inwardly as she turned back to the front desk, sure that she was going to receive a lecture from the older woman that it wasn't "bring your pet to work day." Instead, she was surprised to find that she was holding out an elaborately decorated gift box.

"What's that?"

"I don't know, but it was left on my desk for you this morning," the other woman explained.

"Thank you," Francine replied as she reached for the box, but in the process, accidentally let go of the leash. "Damn it!" she swore as she turned just in time to see Jonathan II dart into the open elevator and the doors close behind him.

She let out a sigh since she knew now that the only thing she could do was wait for the elevator to come back up and hope that he was still on it and she could save face. She grimaced as she saw Mrs. Marston biting down on her lower lip to suppress a laugh. "Well, you might as well open it while you wait," the agency's watchdog suggested.

"Sure." Francine shrugged as she conceded. She glanced at the card and found that it was from Amanda with a note thanking her for babysitting Leah the previous day so that she could make it to her appointment with her obstetrician without having to take the overly energetic five-year-old with her. As she tore off the wrapping, she discovered a box of her favorite chocolates, the DeVaronna ecstasy assortment. That would at least make her day a bit better...after she recovered Jonathan II that was.

As if reading her thoughts, the elevator opened and out stepped Amanda with a cheery, "Good morning. You got my gift, I see."

Francine only nodded curtly as she peered past her to the reopened elevator. No iguana. "Damn!"

Amanda looked at her in confusion. "I thought you'd like them. They _are_ still your favorites, aren't they?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, they are," she answered, shaking off her preoccupation for a moment. "Thank you, but really, it wasn't necessary. I like spending time with Leah." A slight wave of sadness washed over her as she recalled her good memories of her deceased friend. She quickly dismissed that thought as she remembered that she had an iguana to track down.

"Well, thank you, anyway," Amanda replied. Seeing the distracted look cross Francine's features again, she inquired, "Is something wrong, Francine?"

An idea struck her just then. "You know, if you really want to thank me, I know just how you can repay the favor. I know this is going to sound strange, but you didn't happen to see Jonathan II on your way up here, did you?"

Amanda blinked and cocked her head to the side in bewilderment. "Um...no, why would I?"

Taking a deep breath, Francine explained quickly, "I brought him to work with me because I have to take him to the vet this afternoon and he got loose and got into the elevator before I could catch him. It happened so fast that I didn't even know what was happening until it happened and I-" She broke off abruptly when it hit her that she was starting to babble like her more chatty friend.

"Oh." Amanda frowned. "Well, the elevator stopped on about three different floors before it got to me, so he could have gotten out on any of them. Would you like me to help you look?"

"That would be great," Francine gushed, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Happy to help. After all, I owe you one for looking after Leah for me yesterday. Lee had his hands full with getting ready for that reception today and I know how much of a handful a five-year-old can be."

Francine snorted as they stepped into the elevator together. "Try having a runaway iguana."

As Amanda listed off the floors that the elevator had stopped on, Francine found herself once again grateful that the other woman was so observant. "So, we'll just search them one by one until we find him."

"And hope he hasn't found his way to the internal elevator," Amanda added.

"Bite your tongue," the blonde ordered.

As luck would have it, they didn't have to go very far because as soon as they stepped out of the elevator, they heard blood-curdling shrieks coming from the direction of the Steno Pool. "That way," Francine barked as she sprinted down the hall while Amanda waddled behind her.

Just as she was about to turn into the glass enclosure that housed the endless row of typewriters, she collided with Lee, whom she'd failed to notice running from the other direction. "Ouch," they both cried as their heads were knocked together.

Amanda caught up with Francine just in time to see the pair disentangling themselves. Biting back a laugh as she picked up Francine's dropped box of chocolates, she questioned, "What happened?"

"Well, I heard screaming, so I came running," Lee explained.

Eyeing his appearance, Francine gave him a scathing look and rolled her eyes. "In a tuxedo?"

Lee shook his head. "You know very well that I have that stupid reception at the German Embassy to go to today. I was down the hall in Fabrications getting outfitted until I heard the screaming." He nodded to the Steno Pool where they could see through the glass doors and windows that several of its occupants were standing on chairs or their desks. "Which is still going on, by the way."

"It's not really that big a deal." Again, Francine explained for Lee's benefit what had happened.

Once Francine finished her tale for Lee, he laughed uproariously and quipped, "And here I was thinking that it was the real Jonathan you needed to keep on a leash."

His crack earned him a solid punch on the arm from Francine, a scowl and a retort of, "You know, this happens to be all your fault. You're the one who bought the stupid iguana for me."

"If you're tearing down the hall like a maniac to catch him, I'd say he's grown on you since then," Lee countered as he rubbed his head, still sore from his collision with her.

"I'd say Jonathan II must be in there somewhere," Amanda surmised with a hint of amusement in her tone. She couldn't help laughing at the sibling-like bickering before her, but what was even funnier to her was the frightened reactions of the steno pool girls to the iguana in their midst.

"Well, come on, let's go find him so we can all get back to work." Lee opened the door for the two women, taking his wife's hint to stop the childish squabbling. He knew all too well not to cross her.

Just as they entered the room, one of the typists let out an ear-splitting shriek and clambered on top of her desk. "Bingo!" Francine beamed as she spotted the end of the pink leash sticking out from under the desk in question. She hurried toward it and scooped up her pet, holding him tightly so he wouldn't escape again. "There you are, you naughty boy. You like to run away just like your namesake, don't you?"

The girl on the desk glowered at Francine. "What the hell is this, some kind of sick Halloween prank?"

Francine swept her eyes around the room at all the cowering women within it and responded archly, "No, just a test for all of you who have delusions of grandeur in thinking you'll someday make it to agent level. All of you failed, by the way. If you can't handle a little lizard, there's no way in hell you could handle a KGB agent."

Getting down from her desk, the other woman squared off with Francine and retorted, "I wouldn't want to be a spy anyway."

"Honey, we don't use the word 'spy'." Francine fired back icily as she flounced off with Jonathan II in tow leaving the Stetsons howling with laughter.

There had been no further incidents as she'd kept Jonathan II's leash firmly tied to her desk until his appointment, then had dropped him back off at home before returning to the office. She'd made a stop on the way back though for a thank-you gift for Amanda, a bottle of her favorite French perfume.


End file.
